Appreciate what life still has to offer while you can The great wonder of middle age is that we know our time is now limited. Unfaithful partners must work hard to produce bold, humble, heartfelt acts of repair and take responsibility for the harm they caused. From stopping snooping to shutting up, here is her advice. Here is her advice on how to move on after an affair. It is about facing difficulties and eventually becoming wise. This is time to take off any pressure to perform and to put aside expectations for high performance and orgasms. People often want to feel loved by their partner before they begin the hard work of trying to repair their relationship. We get attached not only by what we receive from our partner, but by what we give to them. But our culture presents only one type as being valid: Easier said than done, but important. Arrange time without the children When you have kids you adore, find time to be just you alone so you remember and remind each other of who you were before they arrived, who you are now, and who you will be when they are gone. So often, things can be resolved by learning to listen. Thinking about what matters to them, then consciously reaching out with acts of consideration and affection will not only make them feel closer to you, it may help you to feel closer to them. But when one of you is out of sorts, exhausted, overwhelmed and distracted, behaving lovingly requires conscious effort. Despite the joy that babies bring, they often feel like a bomb going off in a relationship — the exhausting demands of parenthood can feel overwhelming. From ignoring right and wrong to argument enders, here are her five tips.