My boyfriend of five years has developed a strange fascination. Occasionally when two people live together, they bump into each other or one may get in the way of the other. My wife doesn't like to give head—and I really don't like getting it from her, since she doesn't like doing it. Early on, when we discussed how open our marriage should be, we decided it would be all right for me to see escorts several times a year. On the other hand, we still have sex pretty frequently. Ask your boyfriend if he's bi. If not getting oral at home is the price of admission you're willing to pay to be with your wife, and if allowing you to get oral elsewhere is the price of admission she's willing to pay to be with you, then Godspeed, IWFU, and tip the sex workers you patronize and speak up to fight the stigma against doing sex work and hiring sex workers. I could tell he had used it. This really seems bizarre! Tweet Joe Newton I am a year-old gay man with a serious problem. But when I arrived, he said he was only interested in me giving him a massage and then a handjob. My quarrel with you has to do with your oft-repeated advice that people should break things off with partners who don't perform oral sex. If being with you means he can never have sex with a woman, tell him so. This gives me some sexual variety and keeps her from feeling threatened by my becoming emotionally involved with a third party.