That afternoon, which was that afternoon. If only so she and Justin Bieber could encounter one another at an awards show or radio festival and she could reduce him to gravel with a single arched eyebrow? Even New York was still so segregated in that you had to go to gay bars to meet gay boys, and being a marginally famous fat guy in a gay bar is exactly like being any other fat guy in a gay bar, which is like not existing and being a terrible nuisance at the same time. And so it happened that one day, while I was walking the halls doing my best to be visible and eager-looking, one of my bosses asked me if I wanted to host MTV Live that afternoon. It opened at 7 a. Not everyone; just a few people in a very specific demographic. God almighty, we said. The live show, which did not yet have a countdown element, and which counted on the host to steer the ship for 90 minutes. It was far out of our price range. On our first trip downtown, we happened upon a giant, Tompkins Square Park—adjacent four-bedroom duplex that had just gone on the market. Marks, and downed it in long swigs as we sang to each other for a whole Sunday afternoon. What are we, college students? But they succeeded; by , they were huge. Cleaning up the day after our housewarming party, we found a bottle of apricot-flavored Arbor Mist that one of our friends had brought. It was perfect for entertaining. Because I was too stupid to remember that what I had experienced in the contest had been televised and repeated a million times, I kept checking my fly. We looked at each other for a hot moment, halted the cleanup, took the bottle to the private-room karaoke place near St.